10 things I Learned by Crossing an Ocean





I’ve seen this quote a lot, especially lately. Its purpose is to tell people not to invest energy into someone who’s not willing to give it back, or at least part of it. Why drain yourself when they don’t really care, right?



Wait, listen to my reasoning first. Here’s the thing, while they’re refusing to jump puddles, I’m having a hell of an adventure crossing that ocean. It’s not always about the time or energy you’re investing, but the things you get to experience in the process.

People refuse to cross oceans out of fear. They don’t think they’ll have the time or energy or anything worthy to give back. Even hopping a puddle is intimidating sometimes. You ever seen Poltergeist 3? That dude got sucked right down into a puddle in the middle of a parking garage. Seriously, those freaking things can be wells of darkness. And what if they turn into giant oceans and sweep us away? See, even crossing a puddle can be frightening.

My last two relationships took me places I’d never been. Whether actual states or emotional states, I expanded my universe by meeting new people and going places I might not have otherwise gone. In the process, I learned important things about life.


  1. Love is always worthy of a hundredth chance.
  2. Giving a hundred percent means I have no regrets whether or not something works out.
  3. People are bent on explaining their vision for their future and even if you listen to all of it… for hours on end, sometimes they won’t in return, but it doesn’t change what you’ll want for your future.
  4. We ALL see the world from one perspective, ours, and often won’t agree because we’re a summation of individual experiences. But sometimes we will. Cherish those meetings of the minds.
  5. People can be draining and impossible and selfish and a general pain in the ass, but they’re also loving and cuddly and giving and kind and worthy of every ounce of our time and energy.
  6. Leave nothing unsaid, unwritten, undone. Go all-in, whether or not they’re willing to, and do it without regret because you’ll regret not doing it more.
  7. Do it wrong, screw it up, get emotional and passionate, embrace every moment from beginning to end and live out loud.
  8. Waste time. Literally waste time on something you think will be nothing because you’ll find it was everything when it’s gone.
  9. Be afraid, be terrified, tell yourself a thousand times how none of it will work out, then get the hell off the sofa and do it anyway. Every success and every failure teaches us more about ourselves than any self help book. You only learn by doing it and, whether you have to cross the freaking ocean a gazillion times or just jump over a puddle, you can be proud you had the courage to stand up when everything else in life was telling you to sit down.
  10. And one final thought as you journey across those sometimes unforgiving waters of life…








At the end of life, when time slows and darkness descends, what do you want to remember? Sitting on the sofa, afraid to cross that ocean because people are draining and aren’t willing to go all-in, so why try anyway? Or that one summer when you journeyed somewhere new to meet someone incredible, knowing they only needed a temporary distraction, but which ended up being one of the most loving and connective moments of your life.

You get more than you think, and most of it isn’t tangible, but all of it worthy whether or not they’re willing to do anything in return. Sometimes the greatest gift we give is to those who can’t give back, those who will never see you walking the ocean because they’re still looking down trying to figure out how to jump over a puddle.

Categories: Choice, journeymen, patience, peace, relationships, the fear that binds us, the next step, the universes we create, unconditional love | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Just a little love


Sun or rain

it’s all the same

when you’ve chosen to live



Full head, clear heart

you’ll never start

down undiscovered roads

until the slate is clean


Realities we can’t find

and perfect lines

new stories

hidden behind safeguards


There’s no shame

when you work to tame

the misty hell of

cherry-stained fears


Begin chasing stars

but watch out for cars

you won’t disappear

when you give the secrets away


Should you choose to pass

down this way again

more than a mere friend


to welcome you home

* * *

“The greatest thing…”







All cool,


Categories: journeymen, roses, seasons, secrets, the fear that binds us, the universe | Tags: | 3 Comments





Fallout and calamine

serpentine clothe

for compromise sake

we’ll bend but never wake


In the outlands

sands of the glass

move faster now

but neither will break down

‘cause concession isn’t a style

meanwhile, love misses the mark

a stark mismatch to then


Fallout and calamine

card signed conclusions

illusions of attachment

transferred to the new

tree and flew

we’ll dual

one more time


“Golden wings against the sky…”

Categories: heart, hourglass, journeymen, love, messages, relationships, what matters to you | Tags: | Leave a comment

Starry Destinies

Snowflakes drop

hopscotch and hand-me-downs

color crayons of melted hues

in the blues of ocean eyes

we fight to stay alive



and hearts that might

break down all the walls

another falls with this goodbye

while smoke rises up

to catch the sky


Mysteries and stars

the choice is ours

where this seed will float

in the snow or cindered ash

a clash of brilliance

before regrowth

Categories: belief, destiny, heart, journeymen, messages, purpose, relationships, seeds, stars, unconditional love | Tags: | Leave a comment



Hush the sky, my dearest

let the cracks fill

with a soft blue of the reborn


Listen to the memory of rain

tap down storm drains

like a train on iron tracks


Tempests do not follow

down paths of light

where darkness dare not dwell


The damp ground

with its aroma of life

reawakens to thoughts of spring


We do not travel lightly here

heavy with burdens

lost to blinded eyes


Still, the blue of horizons

not yet conquered

await our footsteps


So, hush the sky, my dearest

the cracks fade in footfalls

and in their echo, we are reborn

Categories: belief, choosing faith, freedom, heart, journeymen, love, memories, messages, patience, purpose, taking risks | Tags: | Leave a comment

The Journey

She hangs by her knees from the old oak taking in bits of its wisdom. The spirits gather around reverent in their silence. Her path to changed perspective lies ahead, but ivy creeps along her legs to anchor the moment.

The oak whispers in a deep and ancient voice, “only change can be found on the path before you, but perspective lies in the hanging.”

She sighs, a release of struggles and toil to allow peace to enter. However, the flood before her creates anxiety that she can’t ignore. The wave of red and fur pulses with a fire that consumes all in their wake.  She’s certain they’ll tear her apart before the flames burn. Her first reaction is to lie down and let it pass, but the wise oak speaks again.

“Look just behind you. The Foxes give chase to a hare only steps away. Though the wave blocks your path, it isn’t you they’re after. These obstacles will pass, but you mustn’t back down. Fight through the wall to find your way.”

The woman stands tall, power coursing through her muscles to near exhaustion, but the wave moves on seeking other prey. So she continues down the path.

In the brush that follows, a majestic white swan flails in the briar. Tempted by the sweet fruit, it missed the thorns guarding its prize. The woman transforms into a humming bird carefully moving the vines aside to grant the swan’s freedom. Its graceful wings extend carrying the swan far above the patch to a small hill. Thin pillars of silver surround it gleaming in the fading light.

Returned to her feminine form, the woman strolls down to examine the pillars.

The swan sits as a guardian on the hilltop. Upon inspection, the woman notices the pillars surrounding it are large pens. Near the base of the hill, a man huddles pen in hand. The mask he wears hides his true nature. His smirk a mark of self-satisfaction at the clever way he managed to steal the pen away, but the swan isn’t fooled. She watches him from the corner of her eye well aware of the nature hidden by the mask. His deception will only serve to poison each word he writes with uncertainty and pessimism.

The woman takes note of the scene before her, and then continues on the journey.

A clearing soon appears as she travels father still. In it stands another oak, ancient and ethereal. The woman rests for a while in its shade, but as time passes, the tree weaves her into its branches.

Travelers who wander by see her there in the oak. They marvel at the warmth and generosity that shines from the tree through her eyes. The woman willingly lends support to all at their request. The inner strength they see comes from that of life; a pure energy transmuted through the branches from the sun. As they continue on, the leaves she hands them are tokens, reminders of the time they’ve spent together. Each leaf whispers a secret that only she can hear, a symphony of voices to guide the wayward travelers.

Soon a weary and despondent man appears before the oak . The woman smiles warmth down on him. The branches of her arms transform to soft-feathered wings, as she becomes the swan. The man struggles to climb onto her back and soon the two float among the clouds.

As she flies ever higher, exhaustion does not find her. The steady beat of her heart matches each wing flap creating a rhythm that comforts the man. He’s content to let her bear the weight soaking in bits of energy and light.

Below dawn has found the world. Its landscape unfolds before them; each canyon scarring the earth seems a distant memory of pain. Even the warning caws of crows catching the wind go unnoticed. He sees the destination ahead once hidden beyond the clouds. She bears him to a place of peace where words flow like raindrops in the spring.

Renewed, he at the vision clutches the feathers on her back in anticipation of their arrival.

Together they stand, a human ladder of strength, inscribing the journey in stone. He holds her up to reach the highest parts of the wall. Alone she can barely scratch the surface, but together the hard stone easily gives way to her smooth fleshy fingers.

The interlinking rings she etches tell a story of relationships and love. They become a chain, made stronger as another is added. The impossible becomes ordinary as their combined strength breaks through obstacles.

In unity they understand that the power of one can crumble with the breeze, but when the rings form a chain, their combined resolve becomes an immovable force that can rearrange the stars.

Categories: answers, belief, choosing faith, Drive by life, journeymen, life, love, messages, mistakes, tomorrow | Tags: | Leave a comment

Safety Net


There’s a part of us that wants to save them, to be the safety net when they go strolling across the wire. We know each unsteady step could be the next to cause the fall. The problem is they need to keep walking because you can never grow if you stop. I want to save him, from the pain and uncertainty. Maybe it’s my ego that wishes he’d come running into my arms when the entire world becomes unsteady. My heart tells me to reach out and pull him down, but my head knows better.

If you hold too tight to something it stops moving completely because your iron grip doesn’t allow for anything, even breath. Few crimes are as great as the one that causes someone to wither and fade. I’d be the last to keep him from the journey. Not all mountains can be scaled hand-in-hand. This is one he must climb alone. I’m left as the star tucked just behind that cloud over there. When the wind returns to push him forward it will clear the sky long enough for a light to call. It’ll be my voice echoing out to lead him home.


Intrepid heart

Steadily climbing

Finding, the hills are mountains

The footings are off

The soft ground threatens

It swallows the unsure

But he’s pure, of intention


Sky mapped

Little stars

Holding scars, long past their due

He’ll keep walking

Arms stalking his shadow

Just in case he falls

Watching it all, from a distance


Mountains scaled

Journey’s end

He’ll bend, but never break

In the wake of triumph

She’ll gather the glow

So slow, to catch every piece

Placing each back in the sky

Then fly, up to join them

Categories: Drive by life, freedom, heart, journeymen, lettng go, love, messages, purpose, relationships, the next step, tightrope walkers | Tags: | 2 Comments


To all the tightrope walkers

Who dance on silver strings

Chasing pretty dreams

Without a safety net


To all the travel bound

Those journeymen

With bags in hand

Searching for new roads


To all the lovers

Who float through stars

Filling moonbeam jars

Kept safe upon the shelf


To all those who live for now

Challenging the traditional

With love that’s unconditional

Even as now becomes then


To all the believers

Choosing faith

Over the hate

In a world of sarcasm and pain


What do you do when…


The rope breaks

The road ends

The moonbeams fade

The love melts away

And faith no longer matters?

Categories: choosing faith, Drive by life, journeymen, life, love, lovers, messages, relationships, self reflection, tightrope walkers | Tags: | 7 Comments

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