Monthly Archives: February 2012

Dove-Strung

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Tentative moon

swooning at the night

flight of the newly formed

the storms sit far behind

 

Stilling depressions

confessions of the just begun

under sung to protect the heart

tender starts need time

 

Thoughts saunter

hearts wander through reeds

love pleads in breathes

first steps of the dove-strung

*   *   *

“…they were like Northern stars…”

Categories: belief, contentment, heart, love, relationships, something new, stars | Tags: | Leave a comment

Purpose

Some people search their whole lives for it. Few see a glimpse; fewer still, will find it.

Even as a child, I knew my soul purpose in life was transition. Whenever a friend was going through a life-changing event, somehow they always turned to me for advice and support. As I moved into adulthood, the trend continued. The more I fought it, the more pain I felt until, one day, I stopped fighting.

I would say it’s a gift, an honor to help people, but honestly it’s not something you ask for. Not only is it completely draining, with that unconditional love and support, loss usually follows. Even if you become lifelong friends, which typically doesn’t happen, you have to let go in order for them to spread their newfound wings.

It’s similar to letting a child go out into the great big world. You want to hold on because you invested so much energy into the relationship (and you love them), but you understand that they need to take the next step. Eventually, everyone must stand alone, strong and heart-ready to face the world.

This is where I typically falter.

When you create such strong connections and watched so many people take that step, you don’t want to lose them. Sometimes you fight, sometimes you cry, and yet other times you lock yourself away in a cabin for the weekend aware that you are better for having known them.

Eventually, you’ll regain balance, make peace with the loss, and find renewed passion for this blessing the universe handed you.

I’ve met some incredible people in my life: writers, poets, artists, musicians, racecar drivers, pilots, architects, engineers, politicians, professors, rocket scientists, and everyday hardworking people.

The one thing that will never change, no matter how much pain I experience, is that I’m thankful… no… honored that they were part of my life.

 

*   *   *

“…try and see my heart…”

Categories: choosing faith, contentment, heart, lettng go, pain, purpose, relationships, the next step, unconditional love | Tags: | Leave a comment

My Hope for You

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I once wrote that a heart is like the universe; an expanse so great that it never fills. You can place the stars, the planets, and the sun within it and still there’s room for more.

The stars are those people who have touched our lives. Some remain, while others pass through like a dream, but each has left a stardust trail in our souls.

The planets are the people who live in our everyday: mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, companions, and friends. They are large, ever-present forces revolving around us with evolving love. They laugh, cry, and sit with us through every solar storm ripping our universe apart.

The sun—well now, that’s an important part of our universe. It helps to light the darkest parts of our souls, though few have found that elusive unconditional love.

Make no mistake; the sun isn’t always a boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, wife or husband. No, the sun is that one person, who—even in their worst moments—still has light to share with you. They can put aside pain and frustration to share their light of wisdom and knowledge with you. We all need a sun.

As with the physical universe, everything within the heart can be considered matter.

The thing about matter is that it eventually breaks down. Never completely leaving, matter reorganizes itself to become something new. Sometimes, its energy filled with emotion that allows us to grow. Sometimes, it evolves to become an entirely different organism. In some instances, matter journeys on to other universes where it enriches everything it comes in contact with, but the impact of its stay with us will never dissipate.

Whatever the orbit and time with us, we are forever changed by the people who enter our lives. We can mourn their absence when they move on. Or we can celebrate the light and love they introduced into our universe; becoming better people, whether we know it or not, for the time we spent together.

My hope for you on this Valentine’s Day is that you celebrate love—past and present—with an open and unconditional heart. Let go of the pain and frustration of lost loves; and know, that the universe is an ever-expansive, never-filling space within your heart. There’s always room for one more star, one more planet, one more step towards hope and love.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day & *Heart Hugs*

Categories: belief, certainty, choosing faith, heart, hope, relationships, stars, the universe, unconditional love, Valentine's Day | Tags: | Leave a comment

A Message of Love

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It’s an illusion, the glimmered mirage reflected in watery eyes doesn’t dip past the surface, but the rocks you skip aren’t meant to sink. They skim in rippled jumps, each barely tapping the water as it reaches for the other shore. Exhausted from the journey, they eventually succumb to the pull and sink.

Before you watch them disappear beneath the waves, another rock is hand ready and held tight.

The breeze carries a message through a flowing curtain of willows. They weep for a world-weary heart hardened by time and a touch of life. Desperate to catch your eye, the branches wave frantically, whipping just above your head. When the rustle grows, you glance in annoyance cursing the disruption. The branches, drained from the effort, release the call to let it settle back along the wind.

But life is persistent; it turns to the nightingale, hoping that the sun-brushed melody melts past the iced prison walls surrounding your heart.

The nightingale sings, on the water’s edge, fighting past cellophane wings to catch your ear. His little heart beats a foreign rhythm of love. The song drifts past an unwilling soul wrapped comfortably in its loneliness. As he prepares to expend his final breath, you turn to throw another stone and stir the water with a splash. Off he flies in search of new ears to capture.

If you paused, the absence would be glaring, but the urge to continue skipping overwhelms the senses. So you throw another stone, hoping this one will make it to the other side. The frustration builds as each one falls faster beneath the deep indigo waters than the last.

Realization has yet to take hold, but life is persistent.

It compels the lazy clouds to gather. A flashing blanket of white extends across the sky. When it begins to cry, you feel the first drop roll across your cheek. You brush it away without a thought. The first drip safely in hand, you return to task. Scowling at the heavens, you warn them in brief sharp glances.

A deep voice rumbles across the hills. It grows to a deafening roar as you scream out for silence. Undeterred, the sky opens. In typed drips on the water’s surface, it faithfully sends the message of love. As it soaks through, you feel the warmth dip past the skin.

Your face turns skyward letting each one roll down rose touched cheeks.

It continues to flow as the stones drop down into the moss-covered soil below. Finally, the words pool right below the neck, through brittle walls, into that space emptied by loneliness.

…because life is persistent and all it needs is time.

Categories: answers, belief, choosing faith, heart, life, messages, pain, patience, purpose, scars, unconditional love | Tags: | Leave a comment

Pretty Dreams

When the walls come crashing down around you, your first instinct is to hold onto everything else that makes sense. You reach for something that seems solid—only to find it’s actually a shadow.

The initial reaction is surprise.

Such care and love went into building each layer, how could it possibly not exist? The foundation felt so firm to the heart, at least, in the quiet moments when the world stopped spinning.

The reality is no matter how much you put into building something, if the other person isn’t willing to give back, then you really didn’t create anything at all. It’s a figment of a relationship, a pretty dream, just like the stories we write.

Still, you hold onto the pretty dream because it’s familiar. So, even when the words “I’m done” come out of your mouth, you rearrange the world to give it one more shot. That’s when the truth becomes clear like the morning fog burning off the ocean when the sun comes up. In the end, everyone else is still more important than the want or need they claim is everything.

With all that lies around your feet, it’s the straw that will bring the mountain tumbling down. Or so you think.

The truth is—you’re strong than you might believe.

There’s only one thing left to do now: leave the keys by the sofa you spent so many long nights laughing on, leave the ring on the chair where he sits to write whispers from the universe, and take one long look around before walking away.

Then spend the weekend in a quiet cabin in the woods drinking wine, writing, and remembering that—in order to give to someone else, you must first take a moment for yourself.

Categories: certainty, heart, lettng go, life, love, messages, purpose, relationships, the next step, tomorrow, writing | Tags: | 2 Comments

Starry Destinies

Snowflakes drop

hopscotch and hand-me-downs

color crayons of melted hues

in the blues of ocean eyes

we fight to stay alive

 

Archetypes

and hearts that might

break down all the walls

another falls with this goodbye

while smoke rises up

to catch the sky

 

Mysteries and stars

the choice is ours

where this seed will float

in the snow or cindered ash

a clash of brilliance

before regrowth

Categories: belief, destiny, heart, journeymen, messages, purpose, relationships, seeds, stars, unconditional love | Tags: | Leave a comment

Nothing Left to Say

“Do you want me to say…”

Categories: Drive by life | Tags: | Leave a comment

Crossroads

Crossroad casualties

abnormalities of smart enough

to show up, too young to care

warning flares will set

the heading straight

just wait to find the limit

 

Inane carriage proposals

marked traces of reservation

behind sedimentary fear

so clear the toss of forever

he’ll never wander there

still far too young to care

 

disillusioned renders

lenders of the immediate

but not a moment more

the core of volatility

swollen with instability

a heart that stays at war

Categories: Drive by life, heart, lettng go, life, love, memories, messages, relationships | Tags: | 3 Comments

Stars and Scars

Drop racked,

pulled back and forth;

screw true north

and written in the stars.

These scars crumble

while she fumbles the standoff.

 

Ripped tides,

skyward cries in blues;

Who makes the rules

that no one seems to follow,

when torment swallows the soul

with rope-choked originality?

Forget the banality of structure,

that ruptures what it feeds.

The knowledge that you seek,

still reeks of self-absorption.

Categories: Drive by life, heart, life, love, messages, mistakes, pain, purpose, scars, stars, writing | Tags: | Leave a comment

In Time

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Time bought and sold

as if they have a choice

no voice to kill the clatter

 

In stair cells, children wait

for their clocks to start

jolted hearts of the almost dead

 

Outside, minute men steal

what they can’t extort

pill short, never enough to go around

 

Seconds count down

in hourglass winks

most sink with all-in wagers

 

In the end, time reapers

catch their man

the sand has finally run down

Categories: clocks, for sale, freedom, heart, hourglass, life, messages, taking risks, time | Tags: | 2 Comments

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