“Only those who will risk
going too far
Can possibly find out
how far one can go”
Think back to the biggest risk you’ve ever taken. Did it involve love or money or children? Was it taking that new job cross country in a place you’ve never been? Did everyone support you or just a loyal few?
I thought the risks I’d taken in my life were epic. To most people they are, but the biggest risk I’ve ever faced is still something I struggle with today.
This isn’t a spiritual matter; though many might point skyward for the strength to confront it. No, I’m talking about belief…in yourself.
We typically grow up hearing one of two things: 1) You’re going to take over the world one day…or 2) You’re nothing special get back in line.
I grew up hearing both. Imagine the confusion of a young introverted girl with little self-confidence who wasn’t particularly attractive, and then add to it the mixed messages of being great while being nothing at all. It’s a wonder I’ve made it this far, if I’m being honest. I spent the last 38 years digging through the muddle of mixed messages constantly bombarding my brain. A battle I’m still fighting as I type.
You can tell me it’s great, I’ll say it’s okay. You can tell me it’s brilliant, I’ll search for the flaws you missed. You can tell me it’s the best thing you’ve ever read, I’ll know you’re just being nice. Do you see the holes I dig? I’d say it’s not intentional, but that’s a bold face lie. It’s far easier to sabotage yourself than actually
Believe you’re a good person, believe you deserve to be special, believe you have value, and believe you have talent.
So I carry a coin in the pocket of my bag to remind me of the one risk I’ve yet to take. It’s weighted with enough will power to keep me going, but not so much to pin me in the holes. If one day I should catch up to the belief so many others have in me you’ll know. Because no star will shine brighter, no sunset will be more brilliant, no voice will sing as sweet as the words that will pour from my fingers.