You can’t avoid screwing up the best thing you ever had. Cause here’s the thing; we’re masters at orchestrating failure. Not be because we set out to find it. On the contrary, we push and pull to make sure everything works out. We don’t consider the human factor.
Humans by nature are fragile. Even the fastest mind can only process a finite numbers of things at once. When we add external stimuli the weight can be enough to cause a crack. You may not see it at first, but the hairline will grow over time.
It’s like a rock hitting the windshield. At first there’s just a dot. We think there’s nothing to worry about, but we don’t give enough credit to gravity, wind pressure, and
time. These forces are patient. They know you’ll ignore the passing of each moment because life gets hectic and the mind can only process so much at once. Carefully they push and pull the crack until it creeps across the windshield. So thin only a flash of light at precisely the right angle will reveal the danger ahead.
Once the overall integrity is compromised you have two choices: Work on fixing it or replace the windshield altogether. I fix things. It’s a problem at times cause not everything can be fixed. The danger in replacing the windshield lies in the seal. Once broken, it can never be factory new again.
My seal was broken at the tender age of 27 (get your mind out of the gutter) and again at 37. I will never be factory new again. The cracks that disappeared when the windshields were replaced are still visible to those who take the time to look. Gravity,
pressure, and time have all played a part. The last few months have been the worst of it.
This is a process, my journey through the universe. I don’t always get it right and will often lose myself in the day to day of things, but I always find my way back to me. If you’re strong enough, if unconditional love is truly without condition, you are welcome along. The only things I can promise for sure is that I will lose myself again, find my way back, and love each one of you with everything in me.